Once you know me, you will find that I am a loud voice. The filter between my brain and tongue kept me unable to pass 75% of the time, but I am satisfied with it. I made a strange comment and moved to the next one almost immediately. I agree with this 90%.
This is four times in my relationship. After being together for three years, I think my boyfriend saw and heard almost everything. The key word here is almost.
Although I am very comfortable with the skin around him, I refuse to admit one thing. Ladies and gentlemen, this is my bowel movement and everything that follows. Yes, I’m talking about poop and farting.
For three years, I have been persistent until I left him at least 10 meters away. For three years, I have always denied that I have done anything to the back end. Oh this? That is just for decoration. If you know what I mean, I sometimes long to discuss my “proud moments”, but I always back down. What if he suddenly thinks of my fart when we are kissing, and he loses his temper? What if my fart chokes him? What if my confession of the natural state of the body changes everything in my relationship?
I was caught in this painful cycle of biting my teeth through uncomfortable after-meal stomach cramps or just relaxing myself, but I always choose the latter.
This suddenly stopped last week.
It was the evening of Monday. We lay in bed and watched TV, 100% comfortable. We were completely relaxed; I was wearing a fluffy hotel nightgown, and he in pajamas. Each of us is doing our own thing, but we keep silent between each other until the most unpredictable thing happens.
My jaw dropped in surprise, my heartbeat accelerated to 1 million times per second, and my sweat glands drained all the water in my body from my skin. What happened just now? How can I deny it? What did i say? Did we break up?
On the other hand, my boyfriend slowly turned his head to me and smiled. Then he turned his attention to video games.
I… I don’t know what it is. I tried to sugar coat. It doesn’t matter, he reassures me.
Due to shock and entertainment, mainly his response, I started to laugh at myself. He joined, but was back to his game, and I was back to the TV show.
That’s it. The whole situation lasted about 45 seconds, and nothing changed since then. what! The humiliation brought about by the unforeseen series of gas happened suddenly, with zero consequences.
I am proud that I can overcome difficulties without worrying about them. It feels like a new chapter in my romance, the story of the girl who accidentally fart. It feels like I have conquered another fear, like I am getting closer and closer to my boyfriend.
Ladies, this is something. It is okay to tear it every once in a while. Believe me, I had to secretly go to the toilet and turn the faucet to the maximum in order to give off some shit in all my relationships. It’s very tiring, can cause constipation, and is even harmful to the environment (shower stool? You know what I’m talking about). As long as we don’t stain their sheets or forget to rinse them, our men really don’t care what our bottoms do.
You can let it go every once in a while.
But this is what I want to talk about now. I don’t think I’m ready for a complete conversation and defecation system. Maybe this is something I can save after getting married?